Stay Up: An Original

Post recordings you have made here and get feedback from the community. Songwriting topics would also reside here.

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SomeDevil0879
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Joined: Wed Nov 12, 2003 5:52 pm

Stay Up: An Original

Post by SomeDevil0879 »

Let me know what you think. This is my first time attempting recording, so the quality is not fantastic. You may have to turn up the volume on your speakers a little higher than normal. One more warning, I recorded this quickly so the guitar is not perfect. Anyway, I'd like some critiques.

Thanks,

Erik

http://www.angelfire.com/music5/erikcj79/Stay_Up_v1.mp3
Fat_tony
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Joined: Mon Nov 03, 2003 8:02 am

Post by Fat_tony »

generally very good nice rythem pretty funky, i think it needs a second guitar. i played along with a bit of lead i think just gives the song a bit more depth.
longleggedfrog
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Post by longleggedfrog »

Not bad, The guitar part was pretty good and I was even tapping my foot at a couple spots. I really liked how you started off with the vocal melody, but then at certain spots, you lost me, either it didn't fit and you forced it, or it didn't have the same catch the first line had. Unfortunately, I don't remember the content of the song, so i'm not sure there was a solid hook. The guitar part got a little repetitive, and I'm okay with repetition as long as the vocal part keeps me hooked. Anyway, overall, I thought it was pretty good.
"I tried to pass for nothing, but my dreams gave me away."
Check out some originals:
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SomeDevil0879
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Post by SomeDevil0879 »

Thanks for the comments. Anyone have any comments about my voice in particular? Just wondering...
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t41
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Post by t41 »

SomeDevil0879 wrote:Thanks for the comments. Anyone have any comments about my voice in particular? Just wondering...
this is one of the most promising original works i've heard on all the dmb boards. i like it a lot. vary up the guitar a bit and it'd be great -- don't polish this too much if you record it for real, cause it'll sound better if there's just a little roughness. your voice sounds good but sing some of it a little more forcefully without straining it.
longleggedfrog
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Post by longleggedfrog »

I thought your voice sounded good. I wish my voice was as good. I mean it's not whitney or anything but sounded really nice.
"I tried to pass for nothing, but my dreams gave me away."
Check out some originals:
http://www.kennyclark.net
mdel21
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Post by mdel21 »

I really liked it, it's pretty good. Post some more if you got anymore.

Del
ludes454
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Post by ludes454 »

Dang dude!! I dig it!! Putting it in my playlist as we speak - it has a really groovin feel to it Props
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EnFuego
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Post by EnFuego »

can't get the link to work :(
borocks
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Post by borocks »

the rhythm is very nice and sounds kinda funky. A liked the part that's slightly different a lot, your chorus or whatever.

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SomeDevil0879
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Post by SomeDevil0879 »

Thanks for the comments everyone. I truly appreciate the critiques. I took down the original version of the song b/c I'm going to include the lyrics to the whole song the next time I record it. I'll have it back up in a couple days. In case anyone is interested, I'm going to post some of my other originals soon. Hopefully, I can figure out a way to get better sound quality...if anyone has any suggestions, I'd appreciate it. I'm new to the recording thing.

Erik
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