Short little song..............is finished

Kahn · Post by **Kahn** » Sun May 08, 2005 10:07 pm

I wrote a song this morning, and I'm finally getting over my bronchitis, so my voice has started to improve. It's about 2 minutes long right now. I plan on adding another verse, but tell me what you think of it now. I don't have a working title yet, but I'll call it the Dream Song (yes I know it's a Panic song, but the name fits for now) Capo on the one, two, three, four, FIF.

Here's the old Link: The Dream Song

Lyrics:

Removed

® Kevin (aka KahnTheRevelator) May 9th 2005

Grandpagotgame · Post by **Grandpagotgame** » Sun May 08, 2005 11:24 pm

I love those lyrics, it's so rare to see good lyrics in this forum but those are awesome.

Kahn · Post by **Kahn** » Mon May 09, 2005 7:27 am

Thanks, any reviews for the song itself?

Rowlf · Post by **Rowlf** » Mon May 09, 2005 10:05 am

hey, Kevin!

I like the song ... as said above, the lyrics are very nice and I like the way you build it up ... although I would take it up an extra notch in the last part after the "you don't wanna be like me" piece.

You've got a good voice, but if I may make a suggestion, I would try and sing it with a little more power ... it might sound too stressed at first, but after a while it should get better ... because now it sounds very, VERY carefull ... and it doesn't fit quite right with the music, in my opinion.

But overall it's a nice song, really

good job!

take care!

GreyBlueAnt · Post by **GreyBlueAnt** » Mon May 09, 2005 12:31 pm

sing like you have a pair, even if you're singing soft. my vocal coach always told me that.

mangold · Post by **mangold** » Mon May 09, 2005 1:53 pm

this is good. i like the dooubled guitar part... even if its got nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tone, it sounds almost midi. The lyrics own.... this is really good. you should add another verse and maybe an outro, then BLAMMMO you have a song... and a damn good one.

Kahn · Post by **Kahn** » Mon May 09, 2005 2:30 pm

praisedave wrote:this is good. i like the dooubled guitar part... even if its got nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tone, it sounds almost midi. The lyrics own.... this is really good. you should add another verse and maybe an outro, then BLAMMMO you have a song... and a damn good one.

You think it has no tone? I was recording late at night, so I was trying not to wake people up. I'll try doing another take. That will make my voice project better too. Thanks youz guys.

mangold · Post by **mangold** » Mon May 09, 2005 2:33 pm

KahnTheRevelator wrote:
praisedave wrote:this is good. i like the dooubled guitar part... even if its got nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tone, it sounds almost midi. The lyrics own.... this is really good. you should add another verse and maybe an outro, then BLAMMMO you have a song... and a damn good one.
You think it has no tone? I was recording late at night, so I was trying not to wake people up. I'll try doing another take. That will make my voice project better too. Thanks youz guys.

well i dunno what your recording setup is, but if thats an acoustic then its just sad. that doesnt take away from the awesomeness of the song, but it would be better with some true acoustic sound quality

Kahn · Post by **Kahn** » Mon May 09, 2005 2:52 pm

I have a 1/4 to 1/8 converter from radio shack and I just plug my acoustic straight into the mic jack. I could mic the soundhole though........

I'll mess around with Cool Edit's equalizer and see what I can do. If not I'll lay down a second track from a mic'ed soundhole. Damn I need an Mbox.

mangold · Post by **mangold** » Mon May 09, 2005 2:54 pm

KahnTheRevelator wrote:I have a 1/4 to 1/8 converter from radio shack and I just plug my acoustic straight into the mic jack. I could mic the soundhole though........

I'll mess around with Cool Edit's equalizer and see what I can do. If not I'll lay down a second track from a mic'ed soundhole. Damn I need an Mbox.

then you must have a crummy pickup.... transducer? whatever its still a great song... try mic'in the soundhole

Kahn · Post by **Kahn** » Mon May 09, 2005 3:06 pm

I have an aftermarket Fishman. It might just be the soundcard on my shitty old computer.

Edit: I'm playing with the EQ and FFT Filter and I'm squeezing all the tone I can out of it. It's coming along though, I'll finish the song by tonight. Thanks for the input you guys.

Kahn · Post by **Kahn** » Mon May 09, 2005 6:21 pm

I finished the song. I could have done better vocally, but it's not bad. Plus, I'm uber-tired. I mixed it for a good hour, so it sounds as good as it's going to sound. Please let me know what you think.

The Dream Song Complete

I added the finished lyrics to the first post.

GreyBlueAnt · Post by **GreyBlueAnt** » Mon May 09, 2005 6:32 pm

guitar and mix sounds uber good now, compared to first round. Vocals still need work in places. You gotta sing with gusto, like no one is listening.

katie · Post by **katie** » Mon May 09, 2005 6:43 pm

nice work! I love the play from right to left and the overlapping layers. I feel like sitting next to a nice river now.

Kahn · Post by **Kahn** » Mon May 09, 2005 7:32 pm

Thanks. How 'bout some more reviews guys. I'd really appreciate it.