Help with these lyrics

jlee762000 · Post by **jlee762000** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 2:38 pm

Hey ya'll I wrote this just a few minutes ago while thinking about this special girl that I met. I saw her for a weekend after she mysteriously popped up on my im. We hit it off and she is really quite like me yet different. I hated to board the train at the end of the weekend and maybe someday I'll see her again. Girls like her only come around once in a lifetime.
Please help me with these lyrics....Any thoughts for a choris...Etc.....You wont hurt my feelings cuz I want to get this right for her and suprise her with it.
JON

Feelings of love

She said goodbye
And from that look in her eye
She longed for somthing more
Something that could restore
Feelings of love

I turn away
Oh how I wanted to say
All those feelings kept inside
Using my smile to hide
Feelings of love

Im on the train
Will I see her once again?
Everything that I see
Reminds me of these
Feelings of love

Outro

DOnt walk away

DOnt walk away

from me please, please

please please

HCHaikuWarrior · Post by **HCHaikuWarrior** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 4:01 pm

looks good man,

what are you looking for in terms of advice.

when i heard your story about the song little thing popped in my mind

onid41 · Post by **onid41** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 4:02 pm

jlee762000 wrote:
I turn away
Oh how I wanted to say
All those feelings kept inside
Using my smile to hide
Feelings of love

i like that

Carl_SWE · Post by **Carl_SWE** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 4:13 pm

Getting the "Say Goodbye" vibe here.

And that's a good thing cuz that song rocks.

jlee762000 · Post by **jlee762000** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 4:41 pm

i am looking for help with maybe a chorus or even some cool chords to put to this....basically if u guys think of anything better to say than what ive said fire away. you wont hurt my feelings

filmdude100cms · Post by **filmdude100cms** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 5:01 pm

i got some really good music to put to this i could let you have...

Dm (stum up and down 7 stokes) Fmaj7 (stum the same, repeat that for first part of verse)

She said goodbye
And from that look in her eye
She longed for somthing more
Something that could restore
(then here its gonna change)
Dm for 7 up/down strokes, C for 2 u/d strokes, then go to Em for 7 u/d strokes
Feelings of love

I turn away
Oh how I wanted to say
All those feelings kept inside
Using my smile to hide
Feelings of love

Im on the train
Will I see her once again?
Everything that I see
Reminds me of these
Feelings of love

for a chorus do a D for 7 u/p strokes, go to Em7 for 7 u/d and then G for 7 up/d and to D again for 7 u/d and then repeat.

jlee762000 · Post by **jlee762000** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 5:06 pm

hey thannks that would be cool....any thought on a chorus or changing anything lyrically...anything that would sound better than what i wrote?

jlee762000 · Post by **jlee762000** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 5:40 pm

ok how r u suggesting that i play these chords...

dm
fmaj7
em7

i am still taking lessons and so well ya know....
what r your thoughts also what speed do u think?
thanks for sharing your music with me...thats awesome

filmdude100cms · Post by **filmdude100cms** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 6:13 pm

http://www.guitarnotes.com/guitar/notes ... te11.shtml

find them in there

filmdude100cms · Post by **filmdude100cms** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 6:20 pm

jlee762000 · Post by **jlee762000** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 8:49 pm

what kinda speed do u suggest i use....is it basically fool around til i find a rhythm i like?
JON

filmdude100cms · Post by **filmdude100cms** » Sun Aug 22, 2004 9:39 pm

jlee762000 wrote:what kinda speed do u suggest i use....is it basically fool around til i find a rhythm i like?
JON

i go kinda slow on it

jlee762000 · Post by **jlee762000** » Tue Aug 24, 2004 9:20 am

Ok are there any more people out there that would like to contribute advice about this song.....HELLLLLLPPPPPP i wanna do this thing right so put it on me or as dave says rain down on me

Thomas · Post by **Thomas** » Tue Aug 24, 2004 2:05 pm

this website should help you out if you ever need to come up with chord progressions to a song.

http://www.guitarknowledgenet.com/

*go to the progression builder

as for your song, it looks pretty good so far. my only advice is that rhyming can be limiting,and maybe you shouldn't worry about it as much.

katie · Post by **katie** » Tue Aug 24, 2004 3:17 pm

for lyrics I suggest a stream of conscious....

basically think about this girl and just write and write not really caring as to how it sounds or looks or anything, just write.... about what happened, how she looked, everything, the way the sun shined in your heart, what is different about her, what makes her unique, what you love, why you love, what have you's...don't worry about grammer, just let your mind roll.

go back and read what you wrote and pick out the best lines and go from there. You want it to be special, just for her.

just a thought...

DMBTabs.com

Help with these lyrics

Help with these lyrics

Re: Help with these lyrics

thanks