A song I wrote, feedback would be appreciated

[jay_stadtfeld]

"Heaven"

When you’re with me love

It’s like heaven on earth

It’s like a butterfly that flies by

It’s an incredible feelin’



Girl you and I are so alike

I can see the light in the strangest of places

But only if you look at it right-can you see what it’s showin’ you?

It’s showin’ us the way to heaven



Tonight will last forever in our memory

It’s a dream I never had, it’s a wish that’s come true

With just you and I around

Let’s make this last forever



It can only last forever in heaven

In heaven, in heaven, in heaven

It would only last forever in heaven

In heaven, in heaven



You come marching into my view

It’s like you’re surrounded by a light

A light that can’t be seen…

A light that can’t be seen by anyone but me



You fill my mind and my soul

I’m blown away by your magnitude

It’s like heaven on earth

Let’s make it last forever




As you can tell it's about a girl that I like. Wrote it after a date I went on with her.

[Swe dmbfan]

hard to know whitout the music/guitar,,

but im sure it sound good

[katie]

sounds sweet. hopefully you can play it for her!

[dmb_tatertot]

make sure you record it and post it later! I would love to hear it