song I'm workin on plz give feedback

[mbent4679]

here's is something I've been workin on. I wanted to get some feedback before finish it. Let me know if you need lyrics.
Thnx
http://www.sendspace.com/file/ypeana

[lyrics101]

I like the guitar.

I can't understand a damn word coming out of your mouth. All I know is I don't like the croaking. At all. Mutterance and unintelligibility can be fine at times -- just look at the Chili Peppers. But not here.

And that last voiced stacatto note at the end of the song. No no.

[mbent4679]

Yea the croking does suck I'll cut that. but what about the composer of it. What does the chilli peppers have to do with anything.

[MakoMako]

I think he mentioned the Chili Peppers to give an example as to when unintelligible lyrics can work out sometimes. Even if you listen to Dave live sometimes, you'll notice there are times you can't understand a damn word the guy says, but it works out.

That being said, I agree with what was said.