an original tune

ksutterley · Post by **ksutterley** » Fri Jun 23, 2006 9:58 pm

This is an original song...

at the end the vocals got a little bad, but I'm working on it.

http://www.yousendit.com/transfer.php?a ... CE542B4842

ksutterley · Post by **ksutterley** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 8:13 pm

any critiques?

Hydro120 · Post by **Hydro120** » Wed Jun 28, 2006 8:59 pm

in the lower ranges, the singing lacked emotion. I liked the guitar though. that was good. could you post the lyrics?

MarchOfTheRollyPollyCane · Thu Jun 29, 2006 9:58 pm

i agree with the voice stuff. you have a really good voice, but it seems like you have a lot more potential with it, almost holding back a little. maybe try letting it out a little more. i liked the strumming patterns and guitar work, I really liked it in the breakdown. good stuff.

ksutterley · Post by **ksutterley** » Sat Jul 01, 2006 2:28 am

Thanks for the advice guys!

here are the lyrics:

you try to change it all
and leave your woes behind
and you run away
but your shadow's too close behind
all the pieces are on the floor
when this board is left upside down
i see you to my left
and i see you start to drown

when the past glimmers in your eye
sometimes i just can't say goodbye
i heard what he told me but I just couldn't listen
when i see the day burn away

I watched you walk away
With your back against the wall
All the pictures are falling down
But the frames I see, down the hall

When the past shines in my eye
You used to never want to to say gooodbye
And I read what you wrote me, but I couldn't listen
As I watched the day burn away

And i know who you are
i'll find you in the dark
when the wind is blowing
the flame flickers away