SONG # 24 Lyrics...

Leibundgut17 · Post by **Leibundgut17** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 2:36 am

Song #24

Verse 1
In the rain,
I think about the better times
about less darker days
without any clouds
that hold back the sound
of the sun
about these days
you're around

Chorus
Oh I'm shivering
open you're door
you left me in the rain
too long
please let me in
I'm shivering

Verse 2
When I'm coming in
you lick my tears away
like the wind outside
carried away my mind
full of worrying and hurrying
you make me feel save...

Verse 3
In this little room
we look so tall
we dont look at all
we just feel
with our souls open wide
our eyes gone blind
this must be what we've seeked
all our life...

The song is not fully worked out yet but Borocks requested some lyrics...so here you go, song # 24,
Feel free to critique...
If ya wanna write the music to these lyrics feel free to pm me...peace

borocks · Post by **borocks** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 6:57 am

Hesch das zu mim demo gschribe odr eifach so?

Leibundgut17 · Post by **Leibundgut17** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 8:11 am

borocks wrote:Hesch das zu mim demo gschribe odr eifach so?

Has nid zu dim demo gschribe eifach so, wiso passts zum demo?

mach öpis drus wenn wotsch...i wirdes irgendwenn mou no probiere zvertone, ha aber no grad öpis angers wonni woht fertig schribe (lyrics) befor ig vo afo vertone, plus i wot no der 2 und 3 chorus abändere und i weiss noni öb i e bridge mache...

borocks · Post by **borocks** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 8:26 am

die dritti strophe is fett. I tschegge das mou ab...
was heisst i'm shivering?
dr rhyhmus is sehr unregumässig...unglichlängi zile, aber es git eh es langsams lied, drum chame das gäbig usgliiche...

cooli sach, autä

Leibundgut17 · Post by **Leibundgut17** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 8:28 am

borocks wrote:die dritti strophe is fett. I tschegge das mou ab...
was heisst i'm shivering?
dr rhyhmus is sehr unregumässig...unglichlängi zile, aber es git eh es langsams lied, drum chame das gäbig usgliiche...

cooli sach, autä

Shivering isch zittere...jo zile si chli unglich läng....

everydayDMBfan_18 · Post by **everydayDMBfan_18** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 10:18 am

GOD DAMNIT!!!! :p

dmbguitar718 · Post by **dmbguitar718** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 2:34 pm

dont name it song #24. :/

Appfro · Post by **Appfro** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 2:36 pm

i like most of it. not fond of the chorus, but i do most of the verses. good job.

borocks · Post by **borocks** » Tue Oct 28, 2003 3:14 pm

everydayDMBfan_18 wrote:GOD DAMNIT!!!! :p

you just gotta love it man...
consider it a positve thing to be part of a multi-lingual internet community

Ranting Thespian · Post by **Ranting Thespian** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 12:51 am

can we please keep it one language on the boards that EVERYONE can understand. please, make sure everyone can understand the language you at typing, thank you.

Leibundgut17 · Post by **Leibundgut17** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 1:17 am

dmbguitar718 wrote:dont name it song #24. :/

thanx for all your input...there are several reasons why i called it # 24

first cause i didnt make up a song title yet and second cause it has something to do with the #24 but the title will be changed..

app, whats wrong with the chorus..?

just looking for some input...thanx

borocks · Post by **borocks** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 8:44 am

Leibundgut17 wrote:
dmbguitar718 wrote:dont name it song #24. :/
thanx for all your input...there are several reasons why i called it # 24

first cause i didnt make up a song title yet and second cause it has something to do with the #24 but the title will be changed..

app, whats wrong with the chorus..?

just looking for some input...thanx

put a bit more stuff into your tiny chorus, I think it's way to short... What you've already got is good but try to enlarge the basic idea of it with more words- fill it up somehow.... it'd be great, if you could realise that

Appfro · Post by **Appfro** » Wed Oct 29, 2003 1:09 pm

Leibundgut17 wrote:
dmbguitar718 wrote:dont name it song #24. :/
thanx for all your input...there are several reasons why i called it # 24

first cause i didnt make up a song title yet and second cause it has something to do with the #24 but the title will be changed..

app, whats wrong with the chorus..?

just looking for some input...thanx

there's nothing WRONG with it. i mean, it's your song, if you like it then hey, that's all the right that it needs. im just not fond of it. but i mean, don't take it personally or anything, all of my favorite bands write stuff that i don't like. it's just one of those things. i really liked the rest of the song though.

Leibundgut17 · Post by **Leibundgut17** » Thu Oct 30, 2003 2:35 am

Thanx for the input guys, its funny how different ppl see it so differently, that's great, i appreciate it.