Thanks for the advice, everyone. I can't finger pick worth a damn, though, unfortunately.
As for palm muting, it's just gross. Seriously, though, I just suck at it. Any tips? I mean, all I'm doing is just grippping the pick (thumb and side of pointer finger, which is pretty standard) and laying the side of my hand on the bridge. I take it that's incorrect?
strumming with your wrist completely is bad technique too. Using only your wrist tires you out too quickly (and could cause arthritis or carpal tunnel later on in life). You have to have a good concept of using both the fore arm and the wrist. But i agree w. the palm muting. While you are singing certain verses palm mute it, and then go crazy on the chorus riffs, etc. But don't use only your wrist. If you watch Dave, also, he uses a lot of forearm also, especially on big jams. Don't hurt your wrist
Well, really, palm muting is only if you want the sound of doing a palm mute, it's really a sound technique, it can't really be used just to play softer.
As for playing softly? Try holding the pick more lightly so you kind of brush the strings instead of jabbing down into them, it took me a while to think about it, but that's what I do.