I wrote this last night and it's about alot of things concerning a certain someone. i worte it after waking aorund with my x-girlfriend the other night and relizing how awkward it can be around her sometimes and how bad she hurt me when she broke up with me, so you guys can figure it out from there, that's the platform i used to write it. When i wrote it i invisioned Scott Stapp from Creed singing this so i apologise for my really bad attempt at times to sound like him .
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Nice quality recording. What's your setup? Also, any way you could post the lyrics? I heard most of them, but always like to clarify. Guitar was great and I was pretty impressed with your vocals. A tidbit of constructive criticism (hopefully): your vocals don't really seem to go anywhere throughout this song. They're good, but they seem to generally stay in the same fairly narrow range from start to finish. I think the song could benefit from a little more variety (such as around the 2:12 and 2:34 mark). What kind of guitar are you using for this recording? Sounds great. All in all, I'm impressed with your songwriting and don't take my vocals comment too seriously because you really do have a fine voice; just a nitpick, but hey, that's what this forum is for, I think.
Hey I like the criticism. I started out last year with a voice that i didnt like at all and ive been working hard to get it to sound better and i'm happy with how well it has grown. I'll consider what you said and mess around with the range and stuff, i wrote this song last night so in that aspect it will change alot. it seems like alot of my songs start out like this and i end up going higher or something here or there so i'll work on changing it up, but at the same time i want it to sound simple a majority of the time. I'll type up the lyrics real quick in a second. As for recording, i did a destructive recording meaning that i set up a vocal mic and guitar mic and played and sang at the same time, like a live recording. I have access to a nice studio and alot of nice shit so i recorded the Vocals with a Rode NTK tube mic and the guitar i recorded with a Neumann KM-184, and all of this went into an M-Box since i only had 2 mics and protools through a little ibook G4. I used a Martin D-18GE, i just got the guitar and this was the first time i have recorded with it and i was very happy, i didnt EQ anything at all. The only problem is I had the neck adjusted for lower action but there is alot of fret buz now so i need to get the nut sanded down.
-Lyrics-
Take her away from me, day after day
The sun sets over the horizon, our shadows start to fade
We take a walk in silence just to say
More to me then any words could relay
The silence seems to haunt me
And fealings overcome me
I search my heart, for something to say
But the words, seem locked in silence now
You where the key to my heart, and now that i've lost you
It's getting hard to open up again
Next time just leave the door wide open
And I'll go in, and sweep out all the pain
I thought so highly, of everything we use to share
That was back in the day, when i still cared
Now this silence, is my bitter friend
He stumbles over, and whispers in my ear "What's wrong?"
And I say "Where do I begin."
She was the key to my heart, and now that I've lost her
It's getting hard to open up again
Next time she opens up a door
I hope she knows, to leave a way back in
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jellyfish wrote:Mattinbeloit, you are not relevant.
"If the US Government wants to shove a tracking device up your ass, you say thank you, and God bless America!" -Red, That 70's Show
First off, your taylor vs. martin quote is hysterical.
Secondly, this sounds great for just writing it the other day, and recording it all "live." I like to cheat and record things/loop them, then guitar part two, then vocals, then lead, etc...nice job for this being a new song. There are definately a few openings to just WAIL w/ your vocals, and I'm sure you'll tinker w/ that the more you play w/ the song...but would be interested in hearing the next version...
lyrics are deep. i could relate with this whole song so it kinda gave me chills. The guitar sounded great also. For this being a just the other day type thing it turned out great. Just a thought but, i think this song would sound great with another guitar playing rythm in the background.
Emo eh? ya probably, but i dont even like emo so lol. Ya i might end up adding another guitar, alot of my stuff i end up playing 2 differnt rythm tracks and doing one on the left channel and one on the right, we will see, this was the first attempt, this song is deffinantly going to change further down the road.
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jellyfish wrote:Mattinbeloit, you are not relevant.
"If the US Government wants to shove a tracking device up your ass, you say thank you, and God bless America!" -Red, That 70's Show
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