Original "Sand Song"

Appfro · Post by **Appfro** » Fri Dec 31, 2004 3:39 pm

Hey everyone. So this is an original that I posted the lyrics to a looooooong time ago right before I left for Iraq. I finally got a recorded version of it, and while it's not the best, it's good enough to put on here so you guys can tell me what you think. Thanks for any feedback.

right click save as
http://www.afbmthemovie.com/media/sand_song.mp3

let me know if that works. I'm not sure. If not, go to http://www.afbmthemovie.com/modules.php ... load&cid=2 and it'll be at the bottom of the screen. Thanks

mangold · Post by **mangold** » Fri Dec 31, 2004 4:48 pm

checks for anagram.... ok good

this is awesome man. i really like this and it is a vast improvement from your other stuff, not ot downplay them. the only critique i have is that its all the same, you need a more discerable chorus and such, maybe changeup the progression a bit. over all very very good.

gumbomadness · Post by **gumbomadness** » Fri Dec 31, 2004 5:43 pm

i like this. i think a stronger chorus might be the only thing that this needs. I like the flow of the words and the melody. very nice. ^_^ where is that page with the lyrics?

unifaller · Post by **unifaller** » Fri Dec 31, 2004 6:02 pm

I like this alot, nice song.

btw GUMBO check PM's

Appfro · Post by **Appfro** » Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:05 am

http://www.dmbtabs.com/boards/viewtopic.php?p=138904

it took me forever to find it. apparently i used to call the song "while i'm gone" and i didn't post it in the recording forum...sorry. anyway, there are the lyrics. thanks for the replies guys.

hey, do you think i could spice up the chorus w/ a better lead part? because i'm kind of fond to the progression as easy as it is. i can probably try to use the progression and spice up the chords a little, make them less standard.

gumbomadness · Post by **gumbomadness** » Sat Jan 01, 2005 3:12 am

those lyrics are great.

Appfro · Post by **Appfro** » Sat Jan 01, 2005 7:06 pm

Appsoldier wrote:hey, do you think i could spice up the chorus w/ a better lead part? because i'm kind of fond to the progression as easy as it is. i can probably try to use the progression and spice up the chords a little, make them less standard.

mangold · Post by **mangold** » Sat Jan 01, 2005 8:09 pm

yeah sure why not

Trippin Hillbilly · Post by **Trippin Hillbilly** » Sun Jan 02, 2005 6:57 pm

hey I almost missed this one.

I like this alot Mitch. The vocal melody is real nice and the lyrics kickass.
What i'd think about changing is the lead bits. There is that one lick, it sounds like D,D,D,B. It gets too repetitive through the verses. Maybe mix that up a little bit.

I'd shorten it a little too and turn up that solo at the end, it sounds good.
Your voice kicks ass mitch, go get a band and shit.

gumbomadness · Post by **gumbomadness** » Sun Jan 02, 2005 8:25 pm

Appsoldier wrote:
Appsoldier wrote:hey, do you think i could spice up the chorus w/ a better lead part? because i'm kind of fond to the progression as easy as it is. i can probably try to use the progression and spice up the chords a little, make them less standard.

sorry.. didnt see that.

ofcourse you can spice up the chorus with a better lead part.. although, i think its fine the way it is..
maybe the chorus would be "spicier" if you just sang it a little bit differently...kind of how dave changes between the verse in bartender and the chorus... its so obvious and you can really tell the difference between the verse and chorus because the whole way he is singing changes.
You could incorporate that in your next songs...
I think this song was meant to be the way it is and to me is powerful because of the lyrics and not how great the lead guitar is.