new song

longleggedfrog · Post by **longleggedfrog** » Wed Jul 02, 2003 8:38 am

Well, here I go. This is a fairly new song, but one I like.....and would like better if I wasn't singing it. But, I guess I'm stuck with myself and my voice.

Please let me know what you guys think. It's called Get in Line.

http://www.angelfire.com/apes2/kingtownmonkeybiz/

foxymophandlemama · Post by **foxymophandlemama** » Wed Jul 02, 2003 9:12 am

This is a fairly new song, but one I like.....and would like better if I wasn't singing it

Hi

You shouldnt sell your self short... this is really good.

And the vocals were great!!

K bye

Roastbeef · Post by **Roastbeef** » Wed Jul 02, 2003 9:34 am

Yeah. It's good, man. The singing is fine. You're definitely going to be your own worst critic there; at least I am. The recording probably doesn't do your voice justice either.

My only criticism on the song itself, is it sounds awfully repetitive. You mixed up the chords a bit, but the strumming pattern never really changes. Perhaps throw in some sort of funky rythym for the chorus and maybe an intro/outro with more of a single note picking pattern or riff. Just some ideas...

Nice job.

longleggedfrog · Post by **longleggedfrog** » Wed Jul 02, 2003 3:14 pm

Thanks guys. I appreciate the input...critical too, you cannot be too honest with me....I can take it. I guess I really want to know if what I write and play could be enjoyed and listened to by other people. I really enjoy writing and I can't stop, but time to time I question myself. But songs keep pouring out of me, I've written 14 in the last year. Unfortunately, I'm not that good with intro's, riffs or single note playing, I mostly concentrate on rhythm and lyrics. That is really what I would like to be critiqued on, and enjoy doing the most. My guitar playing is very simple, and I would say nothing to jump around about. Anyway, I will hopefully have more of my songs up on the site soon. Thanks again. Can't wait to hear more originals from everyone else.

jwool · Post by **jwool** » Thu Jul 03, 2003 9:24 pm

the progression is great, and the rhythm is very good as well. keep working on the vocals and melody--be confident...it will come. very good tune.

jeff
http://www.allwool.net/jeffwool

firedancer86 · Post by **firedancer86** » Fri Jul 04, 2003 2:05 pm

cool man...your vocals sound fine to me...both the songs I have heard from you have been great foundations for songs...I mean you have melodies, that is great...just work on keeping them from being repetitive...maybe a slightly different strum pattern...great starting point