What do you think?

Kukini · Post by **Kukini** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 4:17 pm

Some one tell me if these tabs sound good, I kind of like it, I've been working on it for about a week or so...

Verse
E:----------------------------------------------------------
B:----------------------------------------------------------
G:----------------------------------------------------------
D:------4--------2--------3---------------------------------
A:---------3-----------5------------------------------------
E:---2--------5-----3---------------------------------------
     1  4  3  4  1  2  4  2

1st Chorus
E:-----------------------------------3----------------------
B:-----------------------------------2----------------------
G:--------------------7----5----3----3---------7----5----3--(4on7,5,&3)
D:------4--------2/5--5----3----1----0----2/5--5----3----1--(1on5,3,&1)
A:---------3------------------------------------------------
E:---2--------5---------------------------------------------
     1  4  3  4  1 			  1

2nd Chorus
E:----------------------------------------------------------
B:----------------------------------------------------------
G:----------------------------------------------------------
D:--5-----5-----5-----5-------------------------------------(4on5)
A:--3-----3-----X-----X-------------------------------------(1on3)
E:--X-----5-----1-----3-------------------------------------(3on5,1on1&3)

Also, if this is in the wrong forum, sorry.

Thomas · Post by **Thomas** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 4:27 pm

without the timing, it's really hard to tell

Kukini · Post by **Kukini** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 4:41 pm

I forgot to mention, there are no words yet and the timing is sorta weird, just strum however you feel like.

Kukini · Post by **Kukini** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 4:42 pm

here's some audio clips...

http://www.angelfire.com/music6/marqagboyani

filmdude100cms · Post by **filmdude100cms** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 6:54 pm

it sounds off key. whats the pattern.

fatjack · Post by **fatjack** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 7:06 pm

you might want to work on some articulation with your rhythm, you didn't keep a steady tempo the entire time. maybe work on getting better with rhythm before you start righting your own stuff

and that last chorus really sounds like you stole it from dave matthews

i-am-me · Post by **i-am-me** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 7:13 pm

fatjack wrote:you might want to work on some articulation with your rhythm, you didn't keep a steady tempo the entire time. maybe work on getting better with rhythm before you start righting your own stuff

and that last chorus really sounds like you stole it from dave matthews

and maybe learn how to spell before you post on a message board.

completely joking.

yea, the rhythm needs work.

Swe dmbfan · Post by **Swe dmbfan** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 7:21 pm

Kukini!!!

i will never.. NEVER. go to your homepage again if you dont take down that pic of you in the bed......

EDIT: Take down the pic..

Swe dmbfan · Post by **Swe dmbfan** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 7:36 pm

fatjack wrote:you might want to work on some articulation with your rhythm, you didn't keep a steady tempo the entire time. maybe work on getting better with rhythm before you start righting your own stuff

and that last chorus really sounds like you stole it from dave matthews

what he said.

mangold · Post by **mangold** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 7:39 pm

its sounds broken... literally. it sounds like it was a song and you dropped it on your driveway and it shattered. redoing the rythm could help, and you might wanna let the notes ring a bit more.

and take down the pic...

filmdude100cms · Post by **filmdude100cms** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 9:03 pm

yeah the pic was creapy...

this sound sounds like a failed atempt at halloween, and its horribly off key, some of the notes belong, most dont.

sorry man.

fatjack · Post by **fatjack** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 9:06 pm

filmdude100cms wrote:and its horribly off key, some of the notes belong, most dont.

yeah, its like he's trying to write something in a half-diminished scale...

filmdude100cms · Post by **filmdude100cms** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 9:10 pm

the 2 and the 4 work, until the 3 and the 5 come along, and those work, but not with the 2 and 4.... its an unhappy family. none of those notes show up in a scale together.

fatjack · Post by **fatjack** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 9:14 pm

filmdude100cms wrote:the 2 and the 4 work, until the 3 and the 5 come along, and those work, but not with the 2 and 4.... its an unhappy family. none of those notes show up in a scale together.

half diminshed scale... or more specifically, the locrian mode

Kukini · Post by **Kukini** » Sun Oct 24, 2004 10:04 pm

Thanks everyone for the criticism, trust me it's well taken. The shit sounds good while playing but when listening... it doesn't.

And the second chorus isn't a Dave riff, I made that up before I got my guitar (on my friends guitar). It sounded good to me so I threw it in my new song...

I'm working on it, but none of you offered suggestions, those would help! Thanks again.