Favorite Dave Speak

Beauford33 · Post by **Beauford33** » Sat Jun 12, 2004 6:18 pm

yuppers, always one to help.

max · Post by **max** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 1:00 pm

not technically davespeak, but good nonetheless:

"Like dropping the world on the most special person, and not being able to find the chinese mothballs to save me from the frisbee. Those kinds of really sensible nightmares."

Katelyn · Post by **Katelyn** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 1:22 pm

"People who chop down trees should have their feet cut off and be made to jump up and down until they're empty." - from Storytellers on VH1

Snyder · Post by **Snyder** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 1:40 pm

Katelyn wrote:"People who chop down trees should have their feet cut off and be made to jump up and down until they're empty." - from Storytellers on VH1

DMBTabs.com, Welcome to it.

Macht · Post by **Macht** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 1:42 pm

Storytellers kicks ass, watch it about twice a week...

anyways
06/11/96---â€œThis is one of my best friends...it took me a little while to know him, but once you do know him, he never leaves, this is my friend Jack Daniels.â€

ericwormann · Post by **ericwormann** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 1:46 pm

Not really Davespeak, but this is from an interview that I thought was funny:

Interviewer: Is it true you were a bartender when you were just starting out in Charlottsville?

Dave: Well, no, not when I was JUST starting out, but I did end up bartending for quite a few years.

Interviewer: What's the hardest drink to make?

Dave: Well, I never made them, so I wouldn't know. If someone came in and said:
Can I have a B-52?
I'd say No. What do you want?
I want a B-52!
I'm really sorry. You won't get it here. You like a scotch, you like a bourbon, you want a gin, I'll make you any of those. But don't come in here asking me to spend time with a teaspoon, pouring and layering drinks just so you can mix it up in your gut.

Snyder · Post by **Snyder** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 1:55 pm

This is my favorite, it's not exact I don't think cause I'm typing it from memory but:

"Nudicles are fake balls ya see. And I figure, if I could lick my balls, I'm prett confident that once I got down there, I'd be able to tell if they were nudicles or testicles.

I outta have some bison balls made and put em on my Chihuahua. Drag that big boy around. He'd be like "WOOF!" "WOOF!" Was that that fuckin Chihuahua?! No fuckin way!"

TurnItToLove · Post by **TurnItToLove** » Wed Jun 16, 2004 2:01 pm

i dont remember the whole thing, but the one where he talks about the energizer bunny
"....and on day a hammer is gonna come out of the sky and knock the shit out of him..."

dmfollower · Post by **dmfollower** » Fri Jun 18, 2004 2:34 pm

my fav's actually my sig. i love it when dave's all messed up cause he's a smart guy and he just thinks of the the funniest shit.

oh yeah:

"Nudicles are fake balls ya see. And I figure, if I could lick my balls, I'm prett confident that once I got down there, I'd be able to tell if they were nudicles or testicles.

I outta have some bison balls made and put em on my Chihuahua. Drag that big boy around. He'd be like "WOOF!" "WOOF!" Was that that fuckin Chihuahua?! No fuckin way!"

"We'll give that guy up there some chihuahua nudicle....yeah dave woohoo"

lyrics101 · Post by **lyrics101** » Fri Jun 18, 2004 6:56 pm

"You don't know where it's been! You never know! It could've been sniffing around in a dog turd somewhere."

"Why don't you just lick it better?"

Snyder · Post by **Snyder** » Fri Jun 18, 2004 8:45 pm

"Never eat Tai food if you haven't had anything to eat all day really late at night."

"Some people look at the paper after they wipe their ass, some don't. The difference is between you and I."

max · Post by **max** » Fri Jun 18, 2004 10:57 pm

lyrics101 wrote:"You don't know where it's been! You never know! It could've been sniffing around in a dog turd somewhere."

where's that from. . . sounds so familiar

lyrics101 · Post by **lyrics101** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 5:15 am

max wrote:
lyrics101 wrote:"You don't know where it's been! You never know! It could've been sniffing around in a dog turd somewhere."
where's that from. . . sounds so familiar

He says it right after a live rendition of Dreamed I Killed God. Forget which.

HW--1 · Post by **HW--1** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 6:10 am

TurnItToLove wrote:i dont remember the whole thing, but the one where he talks about the energizer bunny
"....and on day a hammer is gonna come out of the sky and knock the shit out of him..."

Great one! Drum on that bunny!

dmb_tatertot · Post by **dmb_tatertot** » Sat Jun 19, 2004 9:53 pm

its not exactly dave speak, but when dave was singing dancing nancies one night....

"could i have been, a beachfront property"

i crack up everytime i hear that

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