http://www.purevolume.com/zachweidenbach
Short little original
Short little original
This isnt very long. I revised the lyrics about 4 times already and i still dont think im happy with them. anyway give it a listen and give a lil feedback maybe. yeah that'd be nice
http://www.purevolume.com/zachweidenbach
http://www.purevolume.com/zachweidenbach
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RunsWithBuffalo
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Like the tune man, the guitar is good but personally i don't care for the tone. It sounds a little too fake, too much piezo or something. The little instrumental break is cool, you are quite a guitar player!
Post the lyrics under the link, its easier to critique them when i can see them.
Voice is solid. There are some spots in the song that would be really great with some harmony backup. Try doing it anywhere you hold a word or note out for a bit longer than usual.
Good stuff
Ryan
Post the lyrics under the link, its easier to critique them when i can see them.
Voice is solid. There are some spots in the song that would be really great with some harmony backup. Try doing it anywhere you hold a word or note out for a bit longer than usual.
Good stuff
Ryan
Do I listen to pop music because I'm miserable or am I miserable because I listen to pop music?
-High Fidelity
-High Fidelity
Sorry about the guitar, i had it all on the bridge pickup and none on the built in mic ( i usually blend between the two). As for the lyrics, they are pretty weak as of now. I tried to talk about suicide bombing obscurely but it truly blows. I havent tried doing harmony because i havent ever practiced doing it. I give it a shot though and post with the updated version of the song with new guitar vocals, and lyrics. I guess this is just the trial version. I just wanted to get the melody out before i forgot it, ya know?
Here are the poor lyrics
Take a look
you see the paradox
in planning how to die
and taking other lives
along
"oh are we alright"
I wonder "oh can we not change?"
then you hear
of the child
so severe
and riled
but the bomb
is ticking
not for long
she's gone
Chorus repeat
Soon we'll see the light
I wonder "can we not change"
Thanks for the feedback
Here are the poor lyrics
Take a look
you see the paradox
in planning how to die
and taking other lives
along
"oh are we alright"
I wonder "oh can we not change?"
then you hear
of the child
so severe
and riled
but the bomb
is ticking
not for long
she's gone
Chorus repeat
Soon we'll see the light
I wonder "can we not change"
Thanks for the feedback
can't download cause I'm at work... but i REALLY like the lyrics. i'm quite a fan of the abstract, implicit things youre doing with your images. it's a lot more mature and developed than many of the things people post on these boards. combine that with your guitar prowess (first response) and you should have a great tune on your hands. even if you aren't hitting notes vocally (since I haven't listened I dunno if you do or not) it doesn't matter as long as you write an interesting vocal melody - that's the next step as far as good songwriting goes - diversify your vocal melody from your guitar melody.
great poetry though - i really enjoyed it
great poetry though - i really enjoyed it
