Long time no see...new song of mine

[AdamCU81]

It's probably been three years since I frequented this place. I was drawn back by the recent tragic news and remembered how much I used to rely on this board for reviews. So here's a demo of a song I wrote and recorded within the past month. Some things have already changed, but I enjoy the recording enough to post it. Let me know what you think.

Code: Select all

http://download.yousendit.com/1F5766D54CDB9DB9

[lyrics101]

I like the simple, casual, chord progression. The chorus caught on with me, but I wanted it to go somewhere else. Keep the lyrics, if you will. I can't sleep anymore is one of those RHCP/DMB/RHD lyrics that hit viscerally in spite of the colloquialism.

Your throat is very, very glottalised. Not good for it at all -- breathe as low as you can, down in your crotch, and imagine when you speak that it's literally shooting out of your mouth, like an arrow flying at a target on the far wall. And make sure you head is mounted on top of your spine, not lurched forward or to far back, but like a tennis ball smacked on top of a broomstick (that is the spine) so you have a clear flow of air, like smoke through a chimney. Just knowing what it's doing to your larynx hurt my throat to listen.

Like the song, though.

[AdamCU81]

Thanks for the input. I was thinking about going somewhere else after the chorus, but I'll save that for recordings with my bass player when we can dynamically build tension before releasing into the "sun's too bright" part.

I mess around with my breathing styles for emotional value. I could sing it with a lot more breath but I think it would detract from the mood. As much as it may sound otherwise, I'm actually not straining myself to sing that way. My bass player's wife is a Doctor of Voice Performance and Pedagogy. She'd let me know if I was hurting myself. If you don't like the way it sounds, that's another thing...

Thanks again for the lengthy critique.

[eliot1171]

I'm having trouble getting it to download. When I click the Download button it says the page can't be found. (both IE & FF) Yousendit may just be f'd up right now.

[RunsWithBuffalo]

Hey I remember you from way back when..

Cool stuff, I love the sonic background in the right ear and the double vocals are really nice.

It's a quiet song, but i think it would really be cool if this just turned into a rocker. You could wait till the end like on wilco's "at least that's what you said"

One thing you could do is just fucking belt out the phrase: "I can't sleep anymore" over and over and let instruments build on top of each other till you end with something montrous.

I like the song the way it is, but i just felt it was building to something that never came.

Good job though

[AdamCU81]

Thanks for the comment. I'm a huge Wilco fan and actually had something similar to what you mentioned in mind for a future recording. Definitely some grungy guitar in the distance and yelling.

What do you do here in Boulder?

(Fresh link in the first post if it didn't work in the past.)

[RunsWithBuffalo]

I'm just a student, i have one more semester after this.

[AdamCU81]

I'm just a student, i have one more semester after this.

Can you point me in the direction of your favorite recording of yours?

[RunsWithBuffalo]

Here's one i did about a week ago for a friends movie.

http://www.dmbtabs.com/boards/viewtopic.php?t=32642