Original Lyrics

Post recordings you have made here and get feedback from the community. Songwriting topics would also reside here.

Moderators: onid41, jkanter

Post Reply
Lexington Steele
Posts: 189
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2003 1:19 pm
Location: Clearwater, FL
Contact:

Original Lyrics

Unread post by Lexington Steele » Tue Aug 10, 2004 1:25 am

Here is a song that i wrote about a year ago that i kinda forgot about! I know the rhyming is a bit repititious. Feel free to comment. . . . .

Funny how her dreams will take her anywhere
Away from this wasted life
Lost in a place beyond the sky
Where her falling stars burn bright

There’s dark side to heaven
And a light side to hell
It lurking deep within these dreams
She’s grown to trust so well

Promises made and shattered
As she fears a dull final breathe
What does it really matter?
When her dreams are all she has left

Days end brings darkness
As it drains the life from the sky
The time is nearing for all of us
As her faith begins to run dry
She runs from here
Breaking out if this place
Hiding alone in her room
With this hopeless feeling of hopelessness
At the whim of the stars and the moon

She wastes these hours
As the days go by
A false sense of wrong and right
Closing her eyes to escape her fate
Hiding alone in the dark of the night
Nothing is real
Nothing is wrong
Her problems are more than they seem
Tucks it away for another day
Hoping tomorrow it will all be a dream

Lex
Never squat with your spurs on.

User avatar
Mulletman
Posts: 94
Joined: Tue Mar 23, 2004 5:38 pm
Location: CA
Contact:

Unread post by Mulletman » Tue Aug 10, 2004 2:49 am

Days end brings darkness
As it drains the life from the sky
sweeeeeet imagery there............ :D

User avatar
seanbryantkbq
DMBTabs.com Authority
Posts: 2158
Joined: Fri May 16, 2003 6:31 pm
Location: Marietta, Ga
Contact:

Unread post by seanbryantkbq » Tue Aug 10, 2004 9:41 pm

me like :lol:

its good, like u said, a little repetitive with rhyming, but i like the overall feel to it, kinda sad.... if u dont mind, may i ask what inspired that?

PEACE!!! :wink:
don't kid yourself and don't fool yourself
this love's too good to last and i'm too old to dream

don't grow up too fast don't embrace the past
this life's too good to last and i'm too young to care

don't kid yourself and don't fool yourself
this life could be the last and we're too young to see

Kukini
DMBTabs.com Authority
Posts: 3562
Joined: Sat Jul 17, 2004 11:03 pm

Unread post by Kukini » Tue Aug 10, 2004 9:48 pm

repetitious rhyming isn't always such a bad thing, it is pretty good too.
- Marq

Lexington Steele
Posts: 189
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2003 1:19 pm
Location: Clearwater, FL
Contact:

Unread post by Lexington Steele » Wed Aug 11, 2004 1:15 am

seanbryantkbq wrote:me like :lol:

its good, like u said, a little repetitive with rhyming, but i like the overall feel to it, kinda sad.... if u dont mind, may i ask what inspired that?

PEACE!!! :wink:
I'm not really sure what inspired it. I guess the frist 2 lines came from a poem i wrote during a nasty break up. Just used them while i was playing and a song came from it. Reading it over, i can't really say its about anyone though. I guess sad times call for sad ideas.
Never squat with your spurs on.

User avatar
katie
DMBTabs.com Authority
Posts: 1060
Joined: Sun Mar 21, 2004 3:12 pm
Location: -*-
Contact:

Unread post by katie » Wed Aug 11, 2004 12:03 pm

you have a great talent. It's a bummer that the fate you wrote for the girl is so damn dreary though. you did it really well, talented.

Lexington Steele
Posts: 189
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2003 1:19 pm
Location: Clearwater, FL
Contact:

Unread post by Lexington Steele » Sun Aug 15, 2004 12:37 am

thanks a ton for the positive feedback. . . .anyone else?
Never squat with your spurs on.

User avatar
Beauford33
DMBTabs.com Authority
Posts: 19055
Joined: Sun Jun 29, 2003 11:08 pm
Random movie quote to make you seem hip and "with it": A little bit of column A and a little bit of column B...
Location: Denver

Unread post by Beauford33 » Sun Aug 15, 2004 12:41 am

I liked it a lot. Just awsome. Is there a guitar part to this, cause Id love to here this thing in as a song.
-BK

User avatar
adamondo
DMBTabs.com Authority
Posts: 1339
Joined: Fri Jan 02, 2004 12:40 pm
Location: NH
Contact:

Unread post by adamondo » Sun Aug 15, 2004 12:58 pm

Sweet.

Lexington Steele
Posts: 189
Joined: Wed Aug 06, 2003 1:19 pm
Location: Clearwater, FL
Contact:

Unread post by Lexington Steele » Sun Aug 15, 2004 4:45 pm

Beauford33 wrote:I liked it a lot. Just awsome. Is there a guitar part to this, cause Id love to here this thing in as a song.
Yes there is a guitar part i have for it but the problem is singing it. I can't make my voice sound the way i want it to. Alot of it is to be sung like certain parts of grey street. . .forcefull, almost screaming. When i try it i sound like i'm going through puberty again. My brother sings so hopefully the 2 of us can get this posted soon.

Lex
Never squat with your spurs on.

User avatar
onid41
DMBTabs.com Authority
Posts: 22986
Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2004 2:30 pm
Location: long island
Contact:

Unread post by onid41 » Sun Aug 15, 2004 4:46 pm

great id love to hear it
-dino

Post Reply

Return to “Recording & Critiquing”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 190 guests